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29. Juni 2024
Ah, darling, let me paint you a picture of this... establishment. It's not quite the Ritz, more of a glorified boarding house with delusions of grandeur. The furniture? Well, it's seen better days, much like the clientele. The fitness centre is adequate for those who insist on perspiring in public. Location-wise, it's splendid if you fancy rubbing shoulders with the Harrods set. Cocktails are passable, though I'd advise bringing your own Pimm's. The staff, bless their hearts, do their best with what little they have - rather like making a silk purse out of a sow's ear. The views, I must admit, are divine - it's a pity one can't live on vistas alone. Now, don't get your hopes up about value, darling. You'd have better luck finding a bargain at Savile Row. The showers are a curious affair, rooms are decidedly below the salt, and summer turns the place into a veritable sauna. The bathtubs? Vintage, and not in the charming way. The decor is about as inspiring as a wet weekend in Bognor.
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